The Vanity of Criticism on Others
I have a strong intuitive understanding that there aren’t actually a lot of people from the ones I know that don’t think that they know better than me what’s best for me. And I also think that this phenomenon doesn’t only have to do with me but with all the people. In fact, I am saying that I have noticed that the vast majority of the people seem to always be coming out of a certain predisposition that they know best what’s best for anybody else. And not only that, they may as well try to impose their view in case they have a certain amount of power.
A Society that Imposes in every Aspect
This occurs in every level of the society. Most teachers hardly ever leave the pupils to go towards their individual directions after only providing to them a strong basis and consultation about specific issues later. Instead they try to put them under certain levels of thought, of behaving, actually under their specific model which is “copied” and “pasted” to each one of the attendees. Most mentors in any tribe, school etc behave as authorities and they expect students to follow them without questions
The parents that have full control of their children are maybe for the only time in their lives given so much power over other human beings. In many occasions they seem to me that while they want the good for their children they oppress them to do what they (the parents) think is correct without leaving any chance of expression to the human being that is actually affected by this.
And this definitely explains the way the western dominant world works. All the empires had their atrocities justified because they wanted to “humanize” but the “unhumanized” ones couldn’t “get it.” until they lost the fight. While, at least in my view, the majority of the people from the attacked-weak countries just didn’t want outsiders to intervene.
The Underlying Egoism behind showing to others what is right for them
All the above point clearly to an underlying egoism that manifests as control over others. When we try to impose something means that by definition we seem to know better the needs and thoughts of the other side. Not only we just believe that we know better but we are 100% sure, else we wouldn’t try to impose it in practice. If we can’t even leave a possibility for the other side to have a logical opinion we are clearly underestimating not only the thinking of the other person but also their individual needs.
So many people on tv and in social media judge all the others and most of the times find them dumb, all the time they can’t understand “how this other person did what they did.” But how can everyone be smart and stupid at the same time?
The Vanity and Self-harm when Criticizing Unstoppably
Unfortunately, hardly anyone seems to be gazing at the bigger picture, that the participation in this process is the real dumbness!
Because it doesn’t let us understand our own inefficiencies-attachments. If we change the perception and be open to learn from our environment then we start understanding that the mistakes we recognise in others have come as a result of similar attachments that we also had or still have, even though the manifestation in the world might look quite different than ours. This way the criticism seems to be going away and from my experience feelings of connection ironically arise. I am starting to include and accept others more and more as time is passing because in many ways that they behave and I don’t see as right, I see a part of myself in me, about a way I used to sometime think and fortunately I realized where I had been stuck. But again I can’t be entirely sure about the latter and still the other person I don’t find right but I think I understand may still know better.
The State of Self-Sufficiency
I think that when coming from a state of self sufficiency there is absolutely no need to convince anyone about something, to make anyone do anything, to receive acceptance and praise from anyone. Only a person or a professional or a country that has something “lacking” wants so much to change-form others’ opinions or intrudes in order to force the circumstances.
Instead a better way of looking at a difference in ideas is to hold back for a while and try to be on the other’s shoes. And then come from a predisposition of something like: “You come from this reality and I come from that reality. Let’s see where there is common ground and try to build on that something that is useful for both of us”
Marketing and Persuasion Methods
There are so many marketing techniques that work on the subconscious now that try to “catch” the customer and convince them about what is right. You see the hidden authority behind something that looks very normal today? There are so many social skills methods and lessons that teach people how to appear more professional or likeable in order to be more convincing, which means to indirectly influence the imposition of their views, of what they want to convince the other about.
These ways are trying to show NOT the reality of our character and let the other rationally decide after having an accurate knowledge. It looks like an adapted performance according to the researched emotional needs of the other side, a lawful trick I dare to say. What we cannot do with “arms” we can very well do it with the mind.
But in my humble opinion a certain level of let’s say “health” cannot be maintained for long in a relationship if it is not attached to a real care for the need of the others. Even if we manage to make others do what we think is right from either force or persuasion it cannot last. How can we feel really close to someone that is using us? But we also can’t feel close to the ones that we are using because in fact we don’t care about their good, we care about ours.
When not knowing what to do
Interestingly enough, look how this mentality works sideways. So even though we like so much to ascertain ourselves, many times that we feel uncertain, we ask others what to do or just look around to see what the majority is doing, obviously this shows lack of self esteem. And unavoidably is a mistaken directions since we fail to take into account our own individual needs.
So we look for authority figures, friends we trust, parental figures, instructors, mentors etc to save us from the difficult situation that we are. What we don’t realise is that everybody else however wise they might be can only offer us their own interpretation of reality, their models that have been formed by their own experiences, their own personality, their own way of thinking and so on and so forth.