Going Beyond the Influence of your Prior Environment
I was creating my heavy metal playlist as I always do before I go for a run. Even though it was dark outside the temperature was 11 degrees, way better than 10 days ago when the whole London was filled with snow for days. Thus I was looking forward to enjoying my night run. As I scrolled down the artists I saw one of my favorite bands, Nevermore. Let’s choose something from their excellent EP called in Memory, it has been too long since the last time I’ve listened to a song from this beloved record.
Soon I was out on the street doing my first kilometers. I passed some small streets outside my house and ended up in a bigger one called wood lane. I hadn’t run for more than 2 kilometers already and I reached BBC. After I make the playlist I shuffle the songs so I don’t know which one comes next when I listen to it. At that time the track I had chosen from the “In Memory” EP called The Sorrowed Man started playing. The first seconds of the melancholic guitar solo and then Warrel Dane singing
“Take me away to the quiet place
Where the doors of perception open wide
Smiling faces greet me there
Loved and lost, lost inside”
I realized in just a few seconds that there was a lump in my throat and I was ready to start crying. I don’t remember this to ever have happened again in any of the thousands of runs in my life.
I think you have felt how a music track can instantly bring you to the feelings of the time that you were very much listening to it and it has been very long since the last time you listened to it.
I haven’t listened to this music track all this time that I have moved to the UK from Greece. I remember 6 and a half years ago when I left Greece with a certainty that I may never return to stay permanently and even if I do it will be too many years later. Well this song, the “Sorrowed Man” traveled me back to this time that I was in Greece and its title is not a coincidence, it is very descriptive of how my feelings were for the most part of my life till that time.
When I left I was convinced that my environment was corrupted enough and what it could only do was make me even more sorrowed than I was. But the major realization is that I noticed that these feelings that I was put into were looking so far away from me at this moment and only the miracle of music was able to remind me of their existence. I instantly understood how much better all things had become for me and my life. Today, at this night run, 6 and half years later I was feeling more justified than ever. These tears that were about to be released from my eyes had become tears of joy and release!
Being trapped in an environment that instead of lifting you up is dragging you down
So I am referring to you that you may be feeling something similar to what I was feeling back in the day. Maybe you know it and you don’t want to look at it straight in the eye. You are stuck with people that are supposedly there to help you but it appears that in the end they are mostly harming you day in day out. Especially now that the times are hard financially many are in the situation of dependence from people older than them that were there at the time that they were growing up.
When you depend on someone(s) it’s easy to rationalize the situation and not realize the negative influence on you. At the same time maybe you have been used to these other people always being there and now that so many years have passed is difficult to imagine your life otherwise. The thing is that due to the fact that these people were there at witty times whatever they do or say has a great influence on you.
So what happens to you when your real individual needs from life are so different than these people’s beliefs? Of course, I mean when you are aware of that since if you feel that you fully agree then you don’t belong in the situations I am talking about. Do you think that your needs are going to be listened? Do you think that there is going to be empathy for your situation?
Let’s hypothesize that you want to go towards a direction that to them looks irrational. What do you think is going to happen? From my experience and from what I’ve seen from other people you aren’t even going to try that because you are convinced deep inside you that you will face huge resistance. And in the very end, you may even rationalize that they are right because you will not want to think of yourself as a coward. Thus most possibly you will keep following the road that the others made for you to follow.
But the road that I am talking about is a huge step and has to do with many decisions. Think even for the smallest ones. Have you noticed them caring about what makes you happy? How have you seen them reacting when you do something that makes you enthusiastic but looks pointless to their limited perception of reality? Doesn’t it remain unnoticed and a lot of times criticised or not? How can you keep opening yourself to new horizons when you always have to face that kind of behavior?
I’m afraid most people are very egoists. They are so egoists that they can’t even recognise that. So the way I have experienced it is that they would certainly prefer to see you suffer by doing what they have been telling you for years as correct than to be proven wrong or to recognise in practice that your way of thinking went even one small step higher than theirs.
This means that they will only be congratulating you when you are doing the steps to go deeper into this societal prison that the previous generation built and actually they have kept themselves locked into. If you feel the need to breathe some air, like I said, you will either be the weirdo or even the bad, the enemy and the worthless. And they will fight you tooth and nail for that. Because you are directly or indirectly harming their so carefully protected ego. You may prove advice of years and the huge commitment to these ideas as pointless, this is a disaster and your well being is of least importance compared to that.
The established hierarchy in any social structure
In every social situation like a family or a tribe of friends or a working environment and so on exists a hierarchy. This isn’t clear as people don’t like to admit that but evolutionary psychology explains that very well. However, from my side I hope that the human consciousness will be able to go beyond that however it seems that most people’s levels at the moment are in that, in the tribal-animal instincts.
Have you seen what happens in a tribe of wolves when a change in the hierarchy is about to happen? It never changes with something less than blood. Something similar is with people.
So let’s say that you are in a group where you are number 4. It was always like that because this hierarchy was created since the moment you first existed. And let’s say that for some reason you have issues with the number 1 and has to change the way they act. This is an emergency because his or her actions are influencing your life every single day. In order, then, for this change to occur not only you have to go against the number 1 who as we said will fight you even with blood since the hierarchy doesn’t change so easily but you also have to win over the number 2 and 3 who have accepted the number 1 as a leader. Do you realize how much effort this demands?
Even if you decide to give all this huge effort and you win you will have definitely been very injured in the process. As well it isn’t at all guaranteed that you will win. Or you can do the same thing as the number 2 and 3, accept the status quo and remain bounded under the will of the number 1 that is so negatively influencing you.
The smartest and most mature dribble
However, since you are a human being and not an animal you can go one step further from this. You can get out of the stadium without any game at all. You can leave the status quo as is and bring yourself out of the equation. This seems to me the wisest thing and I will explain below why.
Either we like it or not most of us have been brought up to be encircled by fear. We fear the authority, we trust the older ones, the bosses, we follow the leader, the parents and so on. This has been like a tattoo under our skin because the society wants us to be “good citizens.” That’s why there are laws, that’s why in school from a very young age we learn to be on time, to follow whatever the teacher says, we receive punishments and so on. But if you want to start making your own choices you have to start releasing this fear. Obviously, this is a direct exit from our comfort zone. Because these will by definition be unconventional. It’s a long-term process and very hard for the vast majority of the young people, that’s why most of them don’t ever actually make a single step out of it even though they are jealous of the just a few other people that manage to do that.
Imagine when you have to climb all this mountain to also have to put up with the irony from the ones that are higher in the hierarchy than you. Imagine them fighting you, see them underestimating you, see them not believing in you, people that are subconsciously very influential to you because they were there in your very young age. Instead of being the first to be on your side, to be your enemies. I am sure you “see them” before you think of an action that goes against the normal although you need it, you are sure about how negatively they will treat you and this makes you not dare to do it. And you are sad or angry depending on your personality. And you remain to do the same things, taking some basic congrats only when you follow what they think is right. How will you be able to manage this life that has no fresh air?
Getting Away also Mentally and Forgiveness as the Ultimate Purpose
So by being physically away from people that will consciously or unconsciously try to drag you down you immediately release yourself from too many problems. When you do that the horizons open but remember, you aren’t free yet. You have to spend your first years to work on your mind to get away from these people mentally as well. Their influence doesn’t get away so quickly. You will be catching yourself thinking what to do to prove them that you are right. You will have thousands of internal arguments with them about the rightness of your decisions. You will have internal dialogues with yourself where you are trying to be convinced that you are wise and overestimate yourself.
Your purpose here is to forgive them. If you try to win or prove means that you still haven’t really gone away, in a sense you are still there. It takes many years but your freedom is proven when you manage to forgive them, forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing. They are asleep and are just victims of their random feelings that are influenced by the external influences of the media, their egos, their own environment and their complexes.
But, like i said, you are in another stadium now, you don’t play in the same one as before. So it doesn’t matter what they are doing and you aren’t in any competition. It is a decision for your own horizons, for the good and love of life itself. In this road there are not even hurdles just events. Thus slowly but steadily you will be learning to focus your energy on working on your own mind, understanding your real needs and learning what has been keeping you down all these years, what are these negative influences that is time for them to be burnt away and become cosmic dust!
This Sorrowed Man will not be me…
Don’t let them maintain you in the misery life that they created for themselves because they don’t want to accept that the society, the politicians, and media fooled them by trapping them not only financially but mostly emotionally. Don’t accept the mediocrity that they have accepted for themselves to be imposed on you. The fear of whatever you may do that seems strange to them. This immediate reaction of how scared they feel about a decision of yours that they can’t handle themselves. Because how can you handle something that they can’t. Like I said, the hierarchy can’t change thus the one in the lower order isn’t expected to be able to do something that is not possible for the one in the higher.
There is a brighter life that your environment cannot show it to you because they don’t know it. And they also don’t have the maturity to comprehend that accepting that they were wrong is ok and is far more important than destroying another person’s life with the same strategy that they followed.
This world I am talking about is real, is very close to you but you cannot see it.That’s the magic and beauty of it and that’s why those without sophistication will never recognize it. It doesn’t appear to our 5 senses but it is something deeper and simultaneously higher. By closing your eyes you also need to close the rest of the senses and mind. Take this simple decision to get yourself away and when you open them again nothing will be looking the same.
“Pray that I will live forever
This sorrowed man will not be me
Today I change my life forever…” ~Warrel Dane (1983-2017)